Hey guys... this is the order in which i wrote these songs. After looking at both of them I realize that it would "make more sense" to write them with "On His Hand" after "Scattered Pieces", but that's not how it played out in real life. so here goes :)

"On His Hand"
A mighty river flows
Washing away filthy remains
A beaming sun does rise
Flooding the fields with light

Do you not see
The mysteries around you?
Can you not feel
His presence in the win?

Like the stars
Winking in the skies
Like the waves
Beating on the sand
Your very name
Is written on His hand

He loves you so
More than you could ever know
He holds you dear
And whispers softly in your ear
Come to Me, My darling
Come to Me
Come to Me, My darling
Come to Me
Come
I'll set you free

"Scattered Pieces"
I never wanted to be like me
What went wrong along the way?
My spirit groans in misery
Will I one day be okay?

Every piece has been scattered
With a wretched, lonely prayer
I beg You, help me to discover
Why the depth of this dispair?

Set me free from who I am
So I can be released in Thee
Set me free from what I do
So I can do Your will for me
Let me flee from my disgrace
So in Your grace I find myself
Broken at Your feet

How could You take me back again?
See I'm just a shameful whore
Yet I find myself once more
Uncovered, shaking at Your door

Set me free from who I am
So I can be released in Thee
Set me free from what I do
So I can do Your will for me
Let me flee from my disgrace
So in Your grace I find myself
Broken at Your feet


I was with a friend last night and we were floating down the river, totally in awe at how pretty BC is, when we started talking about our futures and anticipations and fears. It dawned on me that I'm afraid of many things.

I'm afraid of rejection. Afraid of being real, and afraid that I'm fake. Afraid of searching too hard for the truth in case my realities have always been lies. Afraid of remaining who I've become and not being able to change. But afraid of change. I fear my fear... I fear that it will hold on to me and I'll never move beyond myself. I fear that I'm so inward-focused that I'll never be able to truly love others. I fear that my dreams, the ones that captivate and draw me, are mockers.

Discipline... i've been thinking alot about the training i am to receive from God in certain areas of my life to discipline me so that I can stand strong during these fears and struggles. And He has been training me and it's cool! but sometimes it hurts... and I just got this picture of me being the clay in the Lord's hands and I'm begging Him to shape me and mold me into His child and so He starts pressing and kneading me (the clay) and really mashing me up. and I'm all like "hey, wha? beans, what the heck are you doing? stop! this hurts!" and God says, "You want to be shaped by me, so you've gotta be softened up a little first. Trust Me."
i guess i just gotta learn sometimes :) love you all