It's like the whole world is waiting for something big to happen. We all line up, hoping to catch a glimpse of, well, anything. Something to make us chuckle and something to make us weep. Something to help us remember and something to let us forget. Something to tell us we are doing just fine an something to reveal that we have been doing it wrong all along. Some of us want calculated rationale and some of us want experiential mysticism.

They forgot to tell us that this isn' t the circus or a freak show. There are no bearded women or lions jumping through rings of fire or midgets on the trapeze. We are sitting in the wrong seats, hoping to shriek in terror and squeal with delight. We do not want entertainment--we want chaos. Insanity in our days in order to stifle the piercing quiet in our souls. We want to run life at breakneck speed in order to prove to the others careening about that we have accomplished something. Something important. We do not cast off the disorder, why? Because we are afraid of what we will encounter in the clarity. We refuse to stop muttering or to turn off the music, or to unplug the computer and TV because the silence is screaming for survival and we dread its gasping connotations.

For what is there in the nothingness of the wind's taunts? What man-made deception has removed the taste of damp earth from our feet, forcing us to distance our extremities from the elements? And why do we curse the elements so, buttoning up when in frost, and delayering when under sun-glare?

I feel awful. Awfully comfortable. Oddly secure, yet fretfully ill at ease.

Who is God, my Creator? Why have I cheaped His favour? To whom shall I belong?

Who am I? Who is she?
What's behind Is she more than the
my eyes? Shame in her eyes?
I painted The fear that
A self-portrait Keeps her hiding.
See, it's hanging The rotting stench
in my room In her soul
A secret room. A life of lies
I've pulled it down And mishapened truths
(Did I let it be ripped down?) Have distorted her view
Here it lays, shattered Cross-eyed
Pieces. Pieces. Pieces... With selective hearing
Not of me! But of a She sews her broken pieces
Beautiful brokenness Together with empty words
Who shall reconstruct And pointing fingers
The contours of my soul When will she remove
And patterns of my identity The No Tresspassing Sign
In my heart? From her heart?

I feel a frozen waterfall
At least it still hurts
'Cuz the damage of standing in front
Of a mirror
Seeing the gaping, bleeding hole
In my Chest
Yet feeling no pain
Scars more than the
Soul-wrenching
Agony of distress
You said I showed
Frozen emotion
Like a winter waterfall
You wanted to
Increase the volume
Of my muted screams
To thaw this passive numbness
Pathetically apathetic...
Don't say you didn't know him
I recognize in those eyes
Destroyed from the inside

My future...

Seriously, I have such a love-hate relationship with that concept. Part of my is like, "wohoo, my future! I am going to travel and see things and have random adventures and get married and have more adventures!" The other part of me goes, "Dang. I am so not going anywhere in life right now."So you can understand my obvious dilemma.

Right now, Trinity is awesome. I really am feeling connected, and I love learning and hanging out with friends, so this environment is perfect. All aspects of my life--emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally--are definitely enjoying the journey. Yet I am really uncertain about what comes next. I got a four-year academic scholarship, but I was almost reluctant to take it because I felt like I was signing away the next four years of my life. After thinking and discussing it with my dad (he's my hero) I realized that there is no pressure to do all my studies at Trinity, and that if I feel like I would want a year or semester off, that is not really an issue either.

Then I had an epiphany. I do not think it is so much that I am not wanting to start and finish my university major in four consecutive years, but that I have a blatant fear of committment.

Yep, I'm freaked. I love having countless options before me to toss around. The problem comes when I have to make a (potentially life-changing) decision after reviewing all my choices. I think I am afraid that if i choose wrong, then that's it, I've blown it. I also don't know what I am actually good at, and that thing being something that I also really enjoy doing. So in that sense, I fear that if I choose something and commit to it then I have limited myself and closed doors. But I think the deepest issue here is that I'm afraid that, say I choose something and put my whole heart into it, what happens if I fail? What happens if the thing that I want to do more than anything else in the world is my downfall? I guess that is why, for me, it seems so much easier to have a slew of options and to do a plethora of things mediocre. That way, if I do not succeed at one of those things, I can shrug it off easier and know that it's okay because I didn't try my very hardest.

It seems like a truly sad concept to me.

So, okay, now I've recognized my fears, but the realization has not pushed me any closer to discovering what I want to do with my life or who I want to be. Maybe I'll just do one semester at TWU and then travel or work. Or maybe I'll take a year off in between years. Or maybe I'll transfer to a community college or an international school. The maybe's aren't very reassuring.

I think perhaps what I really want is for someone to sit me down and say, "Look, Janelle: here are your talents. Here are your weaknesses. I think you would love to do ______." But, I really don't want someone else telling me what I should do with my life. Maybe just a little push in the right direction would do it...

Little help?

So there was this time last night when I was like "hey! I should do all my homework on Saturday. That way I'll have a free Sunday and a unstressful Monday!"
So I tried. I really did! I woke up at 8:45 this morning and sat at my computer for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT! I truly did, and I finished a Rels paper.
And then Bekah phoned and Kjer phoned. Yep... and then Kjer came over on the ferry. So we went to Fort Langley and wandered through antique shoppes (you need to spell it with the extra "pe" when you're talking ancient artifacts, people). And we ate lunch at Wendell's and went to a hat store where there (honestly!) were ladies in there buying hats for cocktail parties this weekend! I felt exotic, and like I should be off to the races or something.
Then I came back to my dorm and really thought about my homework! I did! But then it was cooler to go for a hike through the endangered-snail-infested-back-40 to the Town Pantry to buy eggs and oil. Alas, they sold neither, so we bought candy and chips instead.
BUT! then back at Trinity we bought 2 eggs and a small cup of oil with our dinner. And came back to bake some smokin' awesome just-add-eggs-oil-and-water M & M brownies. And then we had to make popcorn too.
And we watched "Bend It Like Beckham" too. which caused us to come back and have a sweet East Indian dance party.
Next we started playing soccer with the leftover balloons from Marie's birthday on Tuesday. And then I remembered that there was still a soccer ball out on the rugby field! so Linoleum (just kidding, it's Linette), Jen, Jess, Lauren and I went out there in the pitch dark. and we got freaked out by this scary white sign, but Jen and Lin and I went pretty close to it.
Next we went to the highway and Jen and I crossed the road. and then lay down on it, like they do in "The Notebook." but that was short lived because lots of cars go zipping down Glover Rd... meanwhile, Jess and Lin were rolling down a hill and Lauren was making sure they didn't fall into the pond (oi, ditch itch!).
There was also this creepy white van and lo and behold, it was unlocked! but we didn't do much there.
we went to the Lower Caf next. and on the heated waiting rack someone's french fries were ready. his name was Vernon. but Vernon wasn't there. So we talked to this English/H-Kin major named Chris who told us the extensive and well-remembered story of Gilgamesh. Poor guy, he faced so many crazy trials in his life, and only succeeded in helping some snake...
Then we stole Vern's fries and booked it. Poor Vernon.
Then we met up with Cameron and Brendan and talked to them in the freezing winter night. It was chilly, it sure was. And we decided to Sac Lauren's Mento. It was a riot!
And that, Professor, is the reason why my new testament papers, my psych assignment, my english reading, and my history studying isn't finished. I'll try again next weekend....

another moment of divinity.
secluded, late at night, and in a room I often pass by, I sat.
i didn't even take a full breath in when Jesus sat in front of me.
and He touched me.
and I am blessed. loved! chosen.
utterly incompetant and frustratingly unfaithful.
but He wants me. me. I could barely breathe now for His face was so close to mine.
i didn't come to pray. not to thank Him or even to talk.
i really didn't even intend to see Him tonight.
and He didn't come to chastise. i don't even remember what He said.
or if He spoke.
but He was there. just... there.
and i wanted--needed--nothing else

For the Lord, our God, He is holy

Living with people can be the most rewarding the most draining experience of your life. There are times when I've laughed so hard at the most ridiculous thing that I felt like I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen to the brain. There are also times when someone cracks out 94.5 The Beat FM and the craziest dance party emerges. And then you start rubbing off on each other. So-and-so from Oregon uses the word "fetus" alot and then, what do ya know, you drop the word casually too, without even meaning it. It's exhilarating, making fun of each other's accents and learning all about the cultural differences in Toronto. And I feel accepted and funny and safe.
But then the quirks and issues arise. Someone makes a self-conscious comment. Another complains about another's habits. It makes me want to scream, "Stop! Let's all go back to week one where we all knew each other's favorite food, silly one-liners, and music genres! Let's just go for group walks where we explore abandoned houses and search for old apples in those stray fields! Let's just snack on sour keys and licorice while watching "Friends" and "Emperor's New Groove" together!"
Man, seriously, those times are so unterrifying.
Maybe I'm afraid of intimacy. Yeah, I probably am. The more I get to know someone the more I realize they are getting to know me, and it honestly can scare the living hell out of me.
I guess it's because I hate not knowing myself, and am concerned that the stunted fragments of me will come out misunderstood or that who I am really is so far from who I want to be. Who I should be. Who I was chosen to be.
I don't trust the Lord as I need to. If I did, if I actually and truly believed that He was Who He says He is, I would have nary a care in the world. I realize when I'm not trusting God, I start to feel like I'm dangling over a ravine on a thin rope. I struggle and squirm and attempt to reach a tree branch or the cliff edge just to gain some sort of feeble control. And knowing me, I probably start getting quite moody, cursing the rocks, the winding river way below, even the very cord that's holding me up. And I'm sure I'm crying by this point too. Then I start getting desperate. I think of all the things I have to offer in order to be placed on safe ground again. I think of all the ways I've messed up and start rambling off hurried and uncontemplated appologies, and praying that I've gathered enough good karma to get me out of this uncomfortable position.
I think the configuration of my life has been tragically marred by a perfectionism that doggedly pursues me, and an inability to exhaustively understand and receive the unadulterated mercy of God Almighty. That I should ever be so proud as to spite His favor and demand that I do it my own, bumbling, pathetic way is devastating. It would be laughable if it wasn't so blatantly appalling.
Ohh... when will I learn?

The Voice of my Beloved!
Through all my heart it thrills,
He leaps upon the mountains,
And skips upon the hills.

For like a roe or young hart,
So swift and strong is He,
He looketh through my window,
And beckoneth unto me.

"Rise up, My love, My fair one,
And come away with Me,
Gone are the snows of winter,
The rains no more we see.

"The flowers are appearing,
The little birds all sing,
The turtle dove is calling,
Through all the land 'tis spring.

"The shoots are on the grapevines,
The figs are on the tree
Arise, My love, My fair one,
And come away with Me.

"Why is My dove still hiding?
When all things else rejoice,
Oh, let Me se thee, fair one,
Oh, let Me hear thy voice".
(Cant. 2:8-14)

I'm not sure what "Cant" is short for... it may be a book in the apocrypha.
Read "Hinds Feet in High Places" by Hannah Hurnard.

When I trod the fields of Eden
Soaking soil 'tween my toes
I forget the cycle of the sun
And that I've shed all clothes
The hungry fingers of the wind
Rub lightly 'cross my face
The freshness of my untanned skin
Shivers as it feels the rain's embrace

I do not see him walking there
His face o'ershadowed by the tree
And I, intriguèd by its fruit
Balk as he falls in step with me

Caught in my shame I make excuse
For drinking up deceit and lies
I pause for breath and seek his glance
A sigh, and tears slip from his eyes

Stunned am I to see his grief
For in my apathy and pride
I am expecting words of grace
But he has turned his face aside

I'm sick to see the pain I've wrought
On man I've named my dearest friend
That I can merely weep and plead
For love once more to make its mend

For ne'er before exists such love
Whose depth can turn the lock of fear
And beckons forth with deep desire
Arise, my Dove, your place is here

-Janelle Kristine, June 5th-

For this I must appologize to Ben Harper (and Jack Johnson), but when I first heard the song it totally seemed like it was someone singin' about Jesus. So the word "sun" has been changed to "Son", but otherwise it's word for word. And it's me.

I know you may not want to see me
On your way down from the clouds
Would you hear me if I told you
That my heart is with you now

She's only happy in the Son
She's only happy in the Son

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the Son sets you free, sets you free
You'll be free indeed

She's only happy in the Son
She's only happy in the Son

Every time I hear you laughing,
Hear you laughing,
It makes me cry
Like the story of life, of your life
Is hello, goodbye

She's only happy in the Son
She's only happy in the Son

The sun shines

and leaves blow

and my hope like autumn

is turning brown.

And I know it seems like

I'm always falling down.

But it does not matter to me although it seems like it should.

It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say

"Rest in me, little David and dry all your tears, you can lay down your armor

And have no fear cause I'm always here

When you're tired of running, and I'm all the strength that you need"

It's up hill

both ways,

tomorrow I swear

I won't act this way.

And I know it seems like

that is what I always say.

But it does not matter to me although it seems like it should.

It's because I know I'm understood when I hear Him say

"Rest in me, little David and dry all your tears, you can lay down your armor

And have no fear cause I'm always here

When you're tired of running, cause I'm all the strength that you need.

"You know I want to be like Jesus,

but it seems so very far away,

and when will I learn to obey, obey?

I fear that i have become a hider. That i've been manipulating conversations so that I never have to admit how i'm really feeling. And that instead of clinging to those who have known my struggles, I've been skirting around their presence and fleeing from contact and conversation that might lead to the revelation of my soul. and the One who knows me most intimately--I've allowed myself to live under a cloak of shame and walk only in the shadowy outskirts of his throneroom. no wonder i'm suffering so!

"I need a miracle, someone to help me help myself..."

Some times I would fight against the norm. Occasionally I'd forget my loathings of mediocrity and would have to start fighting all over again.

So things have been sorta back to our "norm" (if we can even call it that) this week. Classes 8-12 Monday to Wednesday this week, final spanish exam wednesday. tonight is our talent show at this cafe in antigua as well as my friend's birthday dinner. tomorrow we have service (my group is helping on this farm in a few cities over) after spanish and some easter entertainment night tomorrow night. wednesday in the afternoon is cultural day, learning about the way they do easter down here. Wednesday night MIGHT be free (please!). Thursday we are making these sawdust carpets in the streets for 5 hours and then I have PMG (Peer Mentoring Group) and then i'm leading worship after supper. Friday is the huge processional day in ANtigua and I also have a one-on-one with my mentor. I am tired just thinking about all of it! this past week was really draining, so i'm losing my momentum, and my focus too, i think. and being tired has left me open to so much attack. but the vulnerability has drawn me in closer to Jesus. I wanna praise a little louder than before... I wanna lift my hands higher than before... I wanna dance a little longer than before. Jesus! all for Jesus...

I'm beginning to feel worn out. maybe i just need more sleep. maybe they're just packing tons into the weeks. but i've felt like i've been missing the movements of God that have been happening in the group. I don't feel gyped so much as i am scared that i've left God hanging. I keep sitting down to make things right, but just walking away feeling unfulfilled. maybe being fulfilled shouldn't be my ultimate goal. no, no of course it shouldn't! I want all of me dead! More than anything! I'm not going to try to cram 2 spirits into my being. All of me MUST go! I can't pursue Him and chase my own worldliness also! How can i surrender more and more? What walls must be destroyed? i can't even really see them anymore, but i think i'm standing SO close to them that I just haven't recognized them. it's time for some good clean-up and ... I don't know. Fresh wind. Rain... so many of the things that people have been "randomly" saying and that i've been "coincidentally" reading has mentioned rain. and wow, rain... I don't know, but maybe it's not even the gentle, refreshing rain i need. maybe it's the pounding, screaming, cleansing, flood-gates rain. pray for rain. for showers and showers of mighty rain!

Let there be an awakening.

Howdily doodily fine neighbours!
Last you heard I was in Livingston, no? Yes, i believe so. Soooooo the next day we went to this awesome white sandy beach and walked up this river with all these little waterfalls and then to a larger one where we "cliff jumped." It wasn't big, but it was fun :) and the river water was WARM! how crazy is that? It was sort of cloudy that day, but we still swam in the Caribbean and lay on the beach.
The next day we were up super duper early for our snorkelling excursion! wohoo! It was a private tour (just like the day before) and our boat ride was an hour and a half into the heart of Belizan waters. SO blue and pretty! One of the beaches we landed on was COVERED in those huge conch shells. You literally could have taken them home by the dozens. So lots of tanning (through the clouds :)) and some shell searching (ooh, say that 12 times fast!) While we were snorkelling I felt something in my snorkelling bootie bite me and it HURT SO bad. I came up freaking out and yelling. I pulled off my boot (it wasn't a flipper) and looked at my toe, but I saw no blood or entry mark of any sort, so I shrugged it off as maybe a psycho big prickle or something. But then my foot started to feel numb, so I swam back to the boat and looked inside my boot only to find...
a SCORPION! more freaking out. but not really. I told the rest of the gang and held the boot closed at a distance. Our guide dumped him out and threw many rocks at him. so he's now dead. But I, my friends, am a-ok! my whole foot was numb for 24 hours, but no other symptoms at all. praise the Lord!
The next day we headed back to Jocotenango. We all met at the APPE Spanish school as we do every sunday in Antigua for Domino's. Very good meat lovers pizza and i usually hate meat lovers. mmm!
Monday and yesterday we had Spanish classes. Yesterday for the 2nd half of Spanish our teacher took our group (me, Geoff, Xena, Ben) to this small town called San Philipe to see some of the Semana Santa prep they've got going at the church there. It's really neat all that they do. A lot of the focus is on Christ's death, so all Thursday night no Guatemalteca sleeps because they are up all night making sawdust carpets with pictures of Jesus, flowers, trees, etc that are like 30 feet long in the streets. Then on Friday there are processionals from 6 am to 1 am the next day! The carpets get destroyed, obviously, from the parades, but it's such a huge thing for them to do all that work. Then Sunday is just sort of a nothing/clean-up day.
Next Thursday our site and site 2 are gonna make our own sawdust rug in Antigua! 10 meters long and about 3-4 meters wide. Our SPanish teachers are helping us, which is good, because it's all new to us!
Today was a culture day. We headed into Guatemala City at 7:30 am and went to a museum of ancient artifacts (think of the movie "Ice Age" and everything is so much funnier in the museum :) I swear that movie modelled its characters after the ancient Mayans during their cold times). It was neat! then we went to a HUGE cemetery... The people are all "buried" in very high cement walls that have square doors that are like 2 feet square. the remains are slid in. Apparently that cemetery is a huge make-out spot (I mean, come on, what could be more romantic than acres of smelly old, elaborate tombs??). Some of the richer families buy their own plot of land with their own huge block that is carved with pictures and painted and all fancy. Then the whole family can be "buried" together. And that way gangs don't steal the remains (apparently that happens lots too from the poorer sections of the "walls"). Anyway, that was really interesting.
Speaking of smelly, the cemetery backs up to the Guatemalan City Dump, which is 24 football fields big. We looked down over to it and it was super sad. There was one or 2 excavators in there trying to push the garbage around, but also tons of people scrounging around for anything salvageable. The wind blew dirt and garbage into our eyes and the "houses" that surrounded the place were horrific.
After lunch we headed to this ministry center right at the Dump called The Potter's House. There we learned that 10,500 people LIVE and work at the Dump and 6,400 of those are children. The average family income is $24 Canadian a month for a family of 8-9. We saw the dining room and the school and learned about the programs that The Potter's House runs. We were going to be able to go down into the Dump to hand out sandwhiches, but in January there was a huge fire, and since then the government has taken quite the control of the Dump and set up new regulations (such as, no one in the Dump without a working permit). So we just watched from a distance. If any of you are interested in the programs (there are 5 and all super neat) that The Potter's House runs, check out www.pottershouse.org.gt.
After that we went to Tikal Futura, the biggest mall in Guatemala City. Quite the extreme after the Dump. We didn't really do that much there... some people bought a few things, and there was a huge food court with American food, so we ate there. But that's about it. And here I am now! Tomorrow it's back to Spanish class. In the evening we have worship, but we also are having a big community discussion. I think the leaders are feeling upset with the group and many of us have expressed the desire to just get home asap. There's a real lack of good relationships and trust going on, and a lot of lost focus. So that's something I've been praying about. Hopefully after tomorrow night things will be cleared up a bit more. But yeah, so that's the scoop! I miss you all, and no, as much as I love you guys, I don't want to come home yet. :) Maybe when it gets a little closer to mid April I will, but for now, I'm loving it. Feelin' the community strain, but still having a blast. Thanks for all your prayers! Be so blessed...

Hey! Ok, ok, i know that its been entirely too long since ive been on here, but after 2 1/2 weeks, im back!
Lets see... On the 21st we left for Columba, which is the guerilla capital of Guatemala! I thought that was pretty neat. we didnt see any though. We stayed at this massive finca (means farm) run by this man named Antonio. There he grew coffee, bred race horses, has a worm farm, and has tons of greenhouses and land full of plants etc that he sells to the states. We had a tour and the place is HUGE! its like the old feudal system in that he has dozens of workers that live in houses right on his property that hes in charge of. anyway, for us (and site 2) it was a spiritual retreat. it was awesome to have all of us girls, plus all site 2 girls (so 30 in total) sleeping in the same room again! we were like that at Camp Adullam at the beginning, and its super fun. for most people. i like it. but yeah, Blayne Greiner, one of our first semester speakers, and his wife Betty, were there for the week also. So we had a couple short sessions with him. Other than that our sites meant separately each morn and then we would all go off on our own to learn more about ourselves. it was cool, but i have to admit, i had pretty high and idealistic expectations for the week. I did learn some things about me, but nothing spectacularly huge. i loved it though. lots of free time and praying time and just relaxing by the pool time. oh! haha, they had tiendas (like mini corner stores) all over the place and none of them around there had chocolate, but i guess the got the hint that we all were in dire need because they soon informed us that they had ordered a bunch for us. we bought them out in 4 hours. so they had to get much more. it was funny :)

We hiked up to this awesome waterfall in the rainforest after a 2 hour ride crammed with 11 others in the back of a pick up. there were 5 trucks in total and the roads were nuts and windey and we kept stalling, but it was awesome. the waterfall was SWEET and super fun :)

2 weeks back we had Spanish again, except it was in the afternoons from 2-6, which definitely isnt my fave time to have school. but it went well. next week we are back to the regular 8-12 morning classes, so that means i can hang out in antigua all afternoon again :)

there is this place in Antigua called The Cross On The Hill which over looks the whole city and we went there with Blayne last week. it was foggy so the view was not the best, but we got some sweet pics of the group and had worship.

And then last week we left for our Travel Week! We started off by driving for 9 hours up to Ixabel (Ish-a-bell) where we stayed at this finca that has rescued monkeys and macaws! super neat. and we slept in hammocks! yes! so awesome! Excep its actually pretty hard to sleep in those things when you are insanely tall. oh, and they had a bar that played music until (no joke) 5 in the morning! and we had to be up at 7. So i would randomly wake up to Jack Johnson and (get this Grad 2004:) Black Knight! You know, that East Indian music that Nina always plays and is on our grad CD. you have NO idea how excited I was to hear it, but it was after 2 am, so my joy was slightly stifled, and couldnt be shared with the group until the next morning. haha!

The next day we hiked through some fields and forest to reach this cave! We wandered around in there a bit. We waded through some water and had to use candles and flashlights to see things. Not much to see except bat poo, but it was very Indiana Jones at the same time. I jumped onto a rock and posed like Gollum from LOTRs. Oh! speaking of pictures, im pretty sure that the Outtatown website is updated with Guate stuff. http://www.outtatown.com/04site1/ so you can check it out if you want :)

The day we drove to Yaxha (Yuck-Shaw) which is in the jungle and we slept in tree houses! It was right on this lake, but we didnt swim because there are crocodiles in there! Travel week we had Gareth Goossen, another speaker from semester one, come with us. he did worship under the stars that night. i love being outside! it was amazing. some people heard the howler monkeys in the middle of the night. i didnt and was a bit disappointed, but the next morning we woke early and trekked into the jungle, stopped a bit at some ancient Mayan ruins, and then went off the beaten trail to find howler monkeys! all you do is follow their cries! And they were right above us! We also saw spider monkeys! Seriously, some of the things I saw during Travel Week have BLOWN my mind!!! We took lots of pictures and even swung on some vines! ahh, the life of Tarzan. muy bien. that day we drove to Tikal and saw the huge Mayan ruins! Its ginormous all the things in there! Me, Karis, Katie, Dee, Geoff, and Xena stuck together and climbed more stairs than ive ever seen in my life. and took many pictures. and loved it! One of the Temples, Temple IV, was where part of Star Wars was filmed! I think in Return of the Jedi, but i forget. but now i have to watch those again and be like "I was there!" haha!

That night we drove into a city in Peten that has this Christian camp called Hearts in Action in it. We stayed there that night, all very grateful for no bugs and hot showers! Ben even leant me, Katie, Pan, Karis, and Dee his laptop so we could watch the last 2 episodes of Alias again (Katie brought that disc along). Ahhh, good ole Alias!

Next day we drove to the Rio Dulce where we met up with site 2 (they did all what we did, just in the opposite order). we hopped into 3 covered speed boats and took off down the very junglish, amazingly beautiful river on our way to Amatique Bay, a 5 star resort in Puerto Barrios. We boated into the resort and it felt like I was on the Bachelorette or something! Ive never seen a more exotic and amazing resort on TV or brochures!!! all the students stayed in this MANSION with a huge kitchen and personal pool out back and a living room, dining room, and bedrooms. we had to put some people on the floor and then rotate for the next night. The main pool is HUGE! It had 2 nearly full sized waterslides (with no lifeguards, so we had 17 of us go down all together many times and do other crazy things:) ), a pirate ship in the middle of the pool, a swim up bar and tunnels and caves and all these neato things! And it was deserted! Every now and then we would see someone, but we pretty much owned the place for those 2 days! awesome! They even let us give them our CDs and threw us a dance party on the last night! super super super vacationy! And we were right on the Caribbean too, so played some beach volleyball and waded around in the surf. OH! And Tabitha was baptized by Blayne while she was there! She had been planning it for a while, after discussing it with her family and church and all. so that was great for all of us to see and awesome for her to do.

Then on Wednesday, me, Katie, Dee, Geoff, Karis, Tabitha, Xena, and Julia boated to Livingston, this town right on the Caribbean Coast for our free weekend. Blayne had booked us into this 5 star hotel and got us this amazing deal where it would only cost each of us $85 USD for the 4 nights. so we got there and they had no record of our reservation, no understanding of any special deal, and worst of all, no room for us. crap. so we sat and thinked and this one guy told us all about his friend"s hostel-type place. 3 of us went to check it out and it seemed affordable and legit, so we headed there. but on the way we stopped at this little hotel called La Posada El Delfin and loved it and they are charging us $75 for all 4 nights per person, and no, its not 5 star and we dont have a huge pool, but we are the only ones there, we all get to share one big room, they give us breakfast and bottled water. we are loving it so far! It POURED for the first time ive been in Guatemala yesterday! It was super cool. Today we went to the Playa Blanca (white sandy beach) and these waterfalls called the Seven Alters to go cliff jumping. that was cool! except the weather was cool and cloudy, so not the best for the beach, but it was still cool. and tomorrow we are going to Belize! hurrah!!! We will be swimming and snorkelling out there, so that is freaking amazing and exciting! wohoo!!! And the tour today and tomorrow is with our hotel, so we get our own boat and it is private, so that just makes it even more awesome :) hopefully and prayfully the weather tomorrow will be sunny and clear for good snorkelling. anyways, i have written tons and tons and should get going. i will try to keep on top of things better! we head back to Joco on Sunday and then next week is Spanish followed by another free weekend (maybe i will go back to the Montericco beach again) and then SPanish the following week and Semana Santa (Holy Week, the 4 days before easter), and then Easter in Antigua, which is a don"t-you-dare-miss-this-excitement sort of thing. and then a week of independent service. and then we have 9 days of debrief. and then we are back to Winnipeg. man. it is going so fast. but it is oh so good. i should take off though. love you muchly! miss you and pray for you guys lots too.
Janal

HELLO! So we're back in Jocotenango now! After Monday's 8 hour travel escapade, we decided to leave as early as we could handle today from the orphanage. We were planning on just stepping out of the house at 6:30 am and walking around with our hiking backpacks plus my guitar until we found a taxi. THANKFULLY Herlyn, the mom of the orphanage, got up with us and advised we call a taxi because they never circle that area of Xela. But today we made excellent time and I was stepping into my house in Joco at 11:15. But that's boring news, i'll tell you about the rest of the week...
pretty much it was amazing! I felt like I spent the whole time in the presence of God. They were long days, but not that physically draining, and it was just such a sweet experience. Herlyn has a younger brother that took us to see a Meet the Fockers (they're all in English with Spanish subtitles) and then to this really cool touristy antiques cafe after for cake. It was great to have a night out :) Oh, except the town is pretty sketchy... Herman carried his TAZER with him while we walked from the car to the theatre entrance! thankfully he didn't have to use it. oh, it's crazy, every year the college students in guatemala have a few weeks where they dress in black or purple robes with pointed hats and tiny holes for eyes (yes, you read right... pretty much hundreds of KKK-looking people walking around a foreign country. unnerving is an understatement) and go around asking for money. they use the money to throw a year-end party, but they can get a little violent. like they get on the buses and usually they are harmless, but you give them a Q (like 16 cents) if you have it! They go around to businesses too, and if the owners don't pay up they come back in the nights and do major vandalizing. sketchy, yes. so we saw them EVERYWHERE in Xela and mostly at nights. crazy sauce!
we did lots of cleaning and cooking and painting for the orphanage and just hung out and danced with the kids. it was super super super awesome and fun. last night they made us all goodbye cards and it was ADORABLE! i miss them already... There was a big football (soccer) game between Guatemala and Belize last night, so we thought "hey, fiesta!!" and brought the TV into the dining room and had hot dogs, pop, chips, candy, cookies, balloons, and face paints for them. it was a HUGE hit and just so much fun. and Guate won, 2-0, so that was even more awesome :) and then we had a dance party. v. cool :) yeah... so that's pretty much been the week! awesome, amazing, and fun. oh, except today on the chicken bus from Chimaltenango to Joco, all of Joanne's money and debit card was taken from her money belt, which was well hidden under her pants, a shirt, and a hoodie. Poor girl! She had lots in there too. it'll be a good wake-up call for all of us, i guess.

so tomorrow is a well needed day off to do laundry, internet, and we have to take these spiritual gifts/personality tests for the knowing yourself/spiritual retreat week we're doing starting Tuesday. I'm excited for that. Blayne Greiner, a first semester speaker, is coming down for that! hurrah! it'll be a good week to process my time here, figure out some more of who i am and where i'm going. it should be awesome! and we'll be on a coffee plantation. oooo! so far all the coffee i've had here has been instant, which is raunchy. ok, ok, so i don't actually drink coffee, so i can't tell if the stuff here is good or not, but apparently the real, homegrown stuff tastes different than at home. but yeah, that's about all... gotta run! Meeting Katie and Jo and Niki at the fountain. Miss you all! happy days!
PS. Mom, Dad, Joel, Paul, Nicole: PLEASE email me! i haven't heard from any of you in ages and i miss you. Paul: Go to Esperanza.
PPS. All you others, PLEASE email me! i will reply! and i love feeling connected to home and knowing how you're all doing. be blessed!
Psalm 58

Hey-lo all you whiteys out there! On Friday we packed up, hopped our bus, and took off to Monterrico for 3 days! It was AMAZING! We drove to this lagoon and then had to take this sketchy looking boat through most likely pirrahna and lagoon shark-infested waters to reach the place where we were staying. It was SMOKING hot and awesome. We had to walk for about 20 mins to reach our hotel, but it was sooooo worth it.
ok, get this: EVERY room (2 person per room) has a hammock hanging outside of it and each bed has a mosquito net that hangs over you at night. There was a small pool that was always the most perfect temperature, and then (drumroll please) THE OCEAN! Smokes, it was so great! I couldn,t believe that it was the Pacific Ocean! SUPER warm and HUGE waves and BLACK, smooth sand. I was in heaven. AND we had boogie boards, so we body surfed and boarded alllll day. and I brought my thermarest, let it self-inflate, and laid on it with my towel for the rest of the hours of the day. It was super salty and sandy though, so when i was feeling particularly sticky, i showered off and jumped in the pool, where i stayed for HOURS, reading "The Princess Bride" (the book is super hilarious!) which Dee leant me. For dinner we walked down the beach until we reached Johnny,s, which had good food, but BAD sand fleas. The first night i was bit SO bad, but only for like 30 mins, and then they were gone! it was nuts! the next night we decided to sit up on the veranda at Johnny,s to avoid the buggies.
Nathan Reiger, a speaker we had from first semester, came to Monterrico with us and we had a few sessions with him. It was fantastic! He spoke on community and the natural stages that groups go through. i think it really helped our group to recognize some of the vibes that have been going on within us and how to healthily reach true community. Me and Nathan talked for a while too after, and he challenged me to face some of the demons in my life. I was super glad that we talked. I know I need to take some time to sit and process it all though... things move pretty fast-paced around here. Today marks our 5 weeks in Guatemala! It,s insane, really...
So we came back from Monterrico, all very very red. Nicole, remember how we just sat in self-pity on the cruise because we were so fried and how bad it hurt to move? massive deja vu. except it only hurt for 2 days and i haven,t peeled or anything. hopefully i,ll just brown nicely :) i totally forgot to bring sunscreen to the beach, but even those who slathered every 20 mins look like tomatoes. its awesome :)
so we came back from Monterrico, showered, packed for our independent service week, and met in the park for pizza, as we do every sunday night. Me, Ben, Kara, and Joanne are all working at this amazing orphanage in Xela ("Shay-lah") called La Casa de Fe y Amor (The house of faith and love). There are 7 children: Roxana, Pedro, Jose, Elias, Arresallie, Juan Carlos, and Edgar. The owners of the place are a young married couple with 14 month old Andreas. Our instructions on how to actually get to Xela were ridiculously ambiguous and insane, so i woke up on monday morn and prayed for an adventure. whoops! haha! It was awesome, seriously. We took a bus from Joco to Antigua. Then we bussed from Antigua to Chimaltenango, where I saw a huge box of teensy chicks and proceeded to buy one for 6 Q (a buck Canadian). Jo (our fearless leader for the week) forbade me from buying one, so i told Ben to get one. and he did. and so did Xena (her group travelled with us for part of the way). and we loved the chickens SO much. they were adorable! except they didn,t have fluff on the backs of their necks. must be some Guatemalan strand or something. anyway, from Chimalte, we caught a coach bus (v. nice) to Xela, where we played with our chicks the whole time. But when we got to Xela, Ben all of the sudden decided he didn,t want Franklin! (that,s what i called him). I was devastated, and Xena refused to take him. This guy that worked at a furniture store came by and said he was cute, so Ben gave him away. I hope he doesn,t become a meal. anyway, so in Xela we took a taxi to the address we were given, which, as it so happens, DOESN,T exist! we spent over an hour in the taxi, wandering around the same area. we tried calling our leaders, and the leaders of our leaders, and our contact people, and this other lady, but none of the phones we tried worked, and when they did, none of those people,s cell phones were on. so he dropped us off at McDonalds where we had burgers and McFlurries (they have butterfinger mcflurries down here! score!). We finally got a hold of the lady that said she might pick us up, and an hour later, she did that. and another hour later the owners of the orphanange arrived and we arrived at the place. it was a long day, but fun!
It,s SUPER chilly in Xela, which took us all by surprise. But we,re surviving fine. We,ve mostly just been cooking meals for 14 people and folding clothes. Tomorrow we,ll do a bunch of painting for them. The kids come home from school around 1:00 pm and have a siesta (nap) for a few hours after lunch, so we hit the town for internet, phone, and chillaxing. We,re here until Sunday. Then on Monday we head to a coffee plantation for a spiritual retreat week with another one of our first semester speakers. it should be awesome! anyway, i must run. miss you all! see you later!

Happy Superbowl Sunday everyone! There's some excitement down here about watching American Football, and the restaurants and sports bars will certainly be busy here in Antigua all afternoon! Lots has happened since I last blogged, so I'll try to chronologicize it by day for you :)
Jan. 30th: I had just finished blogging and headed back to Parque Central to meet up with some friends. In the park there are always little boys running around trying to shine your shoes, or girls selling necklaces, belts, etc. I had noticed one small girl selling belts during the day and she happened to be sitting next to my friend, Jo, on the bench when i returned. We had a little conversation and I found her just super adorable. Her name was Gloria and she asked me how old I was and told her I was turning 19 tomorrow. Caramba! It so happened that it was Gloria's 11th on the 31st also! So we went out and got a huge piece of cake to share. and then I helped her sell 7 belts to my Outtatown friends. It was awesome :)
Jan. 31st: First day of school! They sang happy birthday to me and we had a pinata. It's crazy, down here they tie the pinata to wires and pull it everywhere, so it's super hard to hit. Much funner though :)
Our small group went out and got a cake and shared it together. It was fitting, as 6 of the 8 of us have either our actually birthdays or our half birthdays within a week and a half of each other. More feliz cumpleanos!
I had been feeling sick all day, so I went to bed at 6:30. My parents called from BC to wish me a happy birthday at 9:30, so that was a pretty groggy phone call, but i loved it.

Feb. 1st: This was our first actually day of actual classes. I'm in a group with Ben, Xena, and Geoff. We've done tons of verbs and grammar and vocab already. Now to actually put it to practise...
Every Tuesday we are split into 4 groups and do service projects around the area. My group is working on a communal farm that grows Nispero fruit and makes jams, juices, liquers, etc. Tues afternoon there were 6 of us that scrubbed the moss of these trees in San Juan. It was quite thereapuetic :)

Feb 2nd: Today was Geoff's birthday, so after school we all headed to Antigua and had a bash at the MonoLoco (The Funky Monkey). There isn't a movie theatre here in Anitgua, but they have these cafes where you can go in and order a meal or even just a drink and they show movies in English at different times throughout the day. A few of us were going to watch one at 8 that night, but the one that was running previously went long and didn't end until 8:45 and I told my fam I'd be back by 10, sooooo... that didn't work out. But it's a neat idea, and we'll try again soon.

Feb. 3rd: Checked my email today and THANK YOU everyone SO MUCH for all the birthday cards and emails! I love you all sooo much. And thanks guys for commenting on my blogs. I read them all and cherish them. Today I led worship for the group with my guitar. Geoff was on the jumbay (funky drum) and Karis and Carmen sang also. It was sweet. I went to Pan's house after. She had to do her book report, so I sat on her bed and read for a while. Then we did some listening prayer together, which was awesome!

Feb 4th: Me, Dee, and Jeffrey walked from the pink church in Jocotenango to Antigua (30 mins) to meet up with 8 others to do our culture day. One day a week we have a culture day where we'll go on a tour, or see some sights, etc. Today we walked to Las Ruinas Capichinas, which is a 17th century convent, rebuilt in the 18th century. It was PRETTY, and really neat. There's this circular courtyard that connects 18 of the nuns meager bedrooms. We all stood in an arched doorway and then one person goes and stands right in the middle and speaks. To us standing in the arches, it just sounded like someone talking normally, but to the speaker his or her voice echoed SO much! It was amazing! So we all gave it a turn. It sounded like i was standing inside a tin can. Then we went downstairs to another circular room and stood at different places along the walls and sang. Again, amazing how gorgeous the sound was, and full! A "cappichino" is actually named after this convent and the ladies in it because of how they wore dark on the bottom and white on the top. There was something to do with the colour red too, but I forget. Neat coffee fact for all your Starbuck's junkies our there. Oh, I also found out that a thousand pound bag of coffee is sold for $18 Canadian dollars. Wow. We need to get cracking on buying fair trade stuff...
We left there and went to Santiago Cemara, a small village about 30 mins from Antigua. There we met with 15 ladies who started these tours to raise money to send all the kids in Santiago to school. We learned about the history of the village and then went inside a large house to watch how they make clothes (some shirts take a year and a half of working everyday for 10 hours and sell for only $100! Whoa!) and make coffee! The coffee trees are neat. They pick the fruit and let it dry in the sun for a month, they crush the shells to get the beans and crush the beans to get the grounds. I don't think the Guatemalan coffee tastes like coffee at home. I'll try to bring some back for you guys to try. We also made our own tortillas, which we ate with the chicken, rice, and sauce they gave us for dinner. mmm, good!
Later that night a handful of us went out for brownies and ice cream at the Cafe 2000 (one of the places where they show movies), but there was no movie on.

5th: Today we had the morning off, so i went to Katie Butz's house. Tabitha and Joel were already there and Joel accidentally let her dog out when I arrived. So we spent the first 10 minutes chasing this big golden retriever around Joco! Hahaha! At 1:00 we all piled onto a bus and headed to the base of Volcan Pacaya! We started our hike at 3:30. It was STEEP! The first hour was in bush, but the last hour was straight up loose volcanic rock. It was 2 steps up, sliiiiiide back, 2 steps up, sliiiiide back. It took a long time and the wind was INTENSE. I loved it! At the top we were able to look down into one of the craters and watch lava spit out from two different places! So amazing! Coming back down, you lean back and just run-jump.It took only 5 minutes to bottom the first part. Then me, Pan, Katie, Tabitha, and Jo ran ahead and ran the last hour down the mountain. The sun set (again, more amazing gorgeousness), and the lights from the city were beautiful and we saw fairies! Well, I guess they were fireflies, but nearly as cool as fairies. :) By this time it was pitch black and they looked like mini lights everywhere. Very exotic and romantic. We came home around 9:30 and i headed to bed pretty quickly after that.

So that's been my week! Full and fun! I'm thankful that I'm not feeling as flu-ish as I was earlier on this week. Please pray that I kick this cold for good. And also that I'd be able to really be praying lots while I'm here, and to continually step out to bless and serve these people, and not solely during our independent services, etc. It's been hard connecting with my family because they are never home, and are super busy, so also that I'd be able to be a servant to them also. How can I pray for you guys? I do lots. Pray, that is. I do pray for you guys lots. I miss you tons and hope you all are at peace. Oh, next weekend we are headed to Montoricco to sit on the beach all weekend. We also have one of our first semester speakers, Nathan Reiger, and his wife, who will be there with us and we have some classes with him next weekend. He spoke on idols and freedom in September, so I'll bet his follow-up classes will be awesome. Next week (14--18th) We have our independent service projects. I'm not sure yet what the options are, but I'd like to work with kids, either at an orphanage, school, hospital... so I'll let you know! Be blessed,
Janelle

This past week my small group (Team H2O) pretty much finished up the house we were building for Raphael and his son. Making cement is such an art! For one room it takes 6 wheelbarrow-fulls of sand, 4 wheelbarrows of gravel, 2 bags of "cemento" and auga (water). It's actually a pretty hefty job! The albanils (masons) mixed it once we brought them all the ingredients, and then we just carried buckets of this stuff into the house and the other albanil was smoothing it onto the ground to make the floor. Then they put a rust coloured finish on. it looked awesome!
Guatemalan time is hilarious. I still can't get over how totally ok it is to show up to something an hour and a half late and no one even bats an eye. Punctuality might take some getting used to once i return to BC though... haha!

On Friday night we had a little fiesta with the Habitat for Humanity people and some of the families who we were building for came. it was cool :) Neither our small group's fam nor our albanils could come, which is too bad, but it was good none the less. we had steak, which was awesome. Oh, and then an announcement was made that there'd be a Site 1 meeting on the roof after dinner. So we all got there and we started singing a worship song, which conveniently broke into "Happy Birthday" for me and Peter! It was SUCH a surprise. We got cake a firecrackers too. I loved it. :)

So after breakfast yesterday, we loaded our bags onto our insane buses to drive to Antigua. Honestly, there have been nights where I've gone to bed and just marvelled at the fact that I haven't seen a car accident or any injured pedestrians on the side of the road. there are NO road signs or traffic rules or anything! it's fun, but i've been brushed by trucks that have whizzed by on more than one occassion. it's actually quite the fun adventure to play "dodge the traffic" when you're walking on the sidewalk the whole time! hahaha! but back to yesterday... the buses came an hour late and we were off! Away from the ...erm... less than 5-star hotel experience we had just lived in. funny fact: they made us clean up all our things on friday so that they could exterminate the dorms before the students arrived. we came back from habitat, the place looked and smelled exactly the same. and there were still roaches and spiders. what can ya do, eh?

So after 3 hours we pulled in Antigua and I. AM. IN. LOVE. no joke, it is GORGEOUS here! Completely surrounded by volcanoes and trees, it's Parque Central lies admist the 500-year-old ancient ruins of the original Spanish architecture. Antigua is a 15 minute bus ride or 20 minute walk (shows the efficiency of the roads! haha!) from Jocotenango, which is the city we all live in and will be learning Spanish in. Joco is really pretty too. Everywhere there and here in Antigua has cobblestone streets, with fruit venders, and these teensy horses pulling massive carts. The locals dress in traditional, colourful garb, and are taking their crafts/produce to the market, or sit on the corners conversing. It's super cool. Antigua is much more touristy than any other city in Guatemala, so there's lots of europeans and most of the restaurants and cafes have english on their menus as well as spanish.

speaking of spanish... lol, no pun intended there, but i honestly CANNOT. i'm trying so hard and i find it hilarious! my family must think i'm a nutcase. I met them yesterday! My mom's name is Esperanza (super super cool name :)), my dad's name is Jaime (pronounced "High-me"), I have a 25 yr old bro named Alejandro and a 20 yr old sister Paula. Paula and "Alex" are learning English on the weekends in Guatemala City, so they spoke to me at dinner last night, but for the few hours before that I did my best to listen, learn, understand, and communicate with Jaime and Esperanza. I showed them my pictures (I think they think that the fact that Durango has 2 different coloured eyes means he's lucky, or worth more, or something). They loved the mountains and Christmas trees too. Dinners are late here... I ate at about 8:30, unpacked the rest of my stuff, read a bit, and went to bed around 10:30. Got up before 8:00 and asked if i could have a shower. So...i'm in the shower this morning and Esperanza yells in at me and i had to turn the shower off and she had to repeat herself like 13 times and still to this moment i'm not totally sure what i answered "Si!" to. The language thing is pretty complicated and funny. Ooooh, but they have a washing machine upstairs, so I don't have to lug my laundry around the city to a "lavanderia" to get it washed! yes! I'll pick up some of my own laundry soap though. What else? We start Spanish classes tomorrow! That's exciting. We get tested in the morning to see what level group we should be in. We are put in groups of 3 or 4 and then a teacher. Also we have service projects that we'll be doing during the afternoons this week (and the 6 to come also), so I'm not sure what I'll be doing for those, but i'm stoked for that also! Oh, I was told that we can't receive mail, so i have no post addy to give you guys. sorry about that! i do have a phone number... it's 7831-0229, but i'm not sure the country and area code for that. and the time difference is 2 hours ahead of BC. but no one is obligated to call of course :)
Next weekend, we're climbing a live volcano! It's called Pacaya. And the following weekend we're going to Monoricco, which is one of the world's top ten beaches ever. It's amazing!
Shoot, i got to go. I miss you guys incredibly. Please pray that I'd get over my cold and fall more in love with everything here. I do love it, but i don't LOVE love it. And I miss home. be so blessed.
Janelle

ok, so my blog seems to be working again! hurrah! i´m here at an internet cafe in Mazatenango, which is the place we´re staying while we work with Habitat. today was slightly dull on the jobsite but exotic at the same time! we´re putting the plumbing in (yay, i´m a plumber just like my dad now!), and the way they do it is to give me and Peter a hammer and pick and ask us to chisel a 4 inch hole in the cement blocks in different sections of the walls. so we seriously did that all day long. ALL DAY LONG. that´s all the rest of my small group did too! we just switched on and off. my forearms are bulging beasts now, i swear.
Poor Geoff was sick and stayed at the dorms yesterday instead of coming to work. he was back today, but devoid of strength. Tabitha and Julia spent most of the morning exhausted and kept nodding off, so they headed back to the college at lunch to sleep and get better. Julia´s been hit hard with the bug. I´ve still got a cold, but it´s not too bad.
oh! so today we´re chiseling away at the wall when this old man comes hobbling by with his cart shouting ¨cocos! cocos!¨ so we went out and bought 2 whole coconuts, drank the milk, smashed them on the wall, and ate the innards. walking back to the bus i was all like ¨wow, that was awesome! i´m in an exotic country, building an exotic house, trying to speak an exotic language, and eating some exotic fruit. this is awesome!¨ and Pan goes, ¨Yeah, and now we´re all gonna be exotically sick from it.¨ it was hilarious.
we had these amazing chicken salad sandwiches for lunch (i think they are trying to give our stomachs a rest from the guatemalan beans, plantanes, and corn tortillas) and my friend, Pan, was like ¨Ew, i hate chicken gristle¨and i was like ¨Yeah, me too¨ and NONE of the others in our small group had even HEARD of the word gristle before. guess what they call it in Manitoba?? GURNURPLE. gurnurple. sick animal! well, i guess we´ve finally found a word that rhymes with purple. haha!
anyway, not much else to say. on Saturday i meet my family who i´ll be living with for pretty much the rest of the time we´re here. ahh! i hope they´re nice. with many little children. love you all! and i´m pray for you guys too. later!
Janelle (they call me ¨Hun-ay-uh¨ here. i love it.)

ok, so here´s the diddly i tried to post a few days ago that didn´t work. it might sound sort of repetetive :)
! things are great here... it was KILLER hot when we arrived, but then bused a couple hours into the mountains where it was FREEZING (cloudy and cold everyday) at a place called Camp Adulam. It was super pretty there. We,re together with site 2 (the other guatemalan groups), and they,re really cool. hmm, this email might be all over the map, so sorry about that! i,ll try to start again.

we got to CMU at 2pm and there was over a foot of snow. i loved it! but then the director came in and told us that the guatemalan airport was on strike and no one was allowed in or out of the country! but we hopped on the bus and did the 8 hour trek down to Minneapolis anyway. we watched Napoleon Dynamite (a classic with this group) and Touching the Void on the way down. i maybe got 30 mins of sleep on the bus. then i slept almost an hour at the airport. we were then informed that the airport in Guate had hired some Mexicans and was up and running. BUT our plane to Atlanta was delayed, so we almost missed our connecting flight! they held it for us though because there are 57 of us. 57 with zero sleep in the past 36 hours. ouch.

so back to camp adulam... we spent thursday to sunday at adulam, playing soccer and tag with the kids, and trying to stay warm (seriously, it was insane!) i helped lead worship on friday and we had a dude come in to teach us some cultural facts and safety.

sunday our us driver (dario) drove us to Mazatenango where we,re staying while working with Habitat for Humanity. we´re actually staying in college dorms while the kids are out for the winter! college dorms that completely shattered my dreams of international school (except i might still want to go to England and live in a castle school... but that´s another story). but seriously, we live with mosquitos, cockroches, bed bugs, scorpions, lizzards, and toads. it,s an adventure!

it´s hilarious, i literally walk down the street and all the Guatemalans just stare at me, or laugh and say Alta! (means tall). everyone is SOOO tiny! it´s hilarious :)

my small group is building a house for this man named Raphael and his 11 year old son. Raffy stops by the site daily to chat with us (i,m learning a bit of spanish... mostly just vocab to do with construction! haha!) and he´s brought us chocobananos (halved frozen bananas covered in chocolate!), Pepsi, papaya, and real cocoa plants/fruit and chocolate. h,s super nice! and our albanil (mason) is awesome too. ew, speaking of chocolate, even though it originated down here, it´s NOT GOOD at ALL. it´s so wierd! maybe i´ll bring some back to show you all :)

tomorrow we´re heading to a hotel and market in Panajachel! excited! apparently it,s awesome for shopping. the nights have been super hot here in Maza, so i´ve had a couple nights were i jump into my bathing suit, jump into the shower (it´s always nice and cold) and gone to bed wet. it works! anyway, things are really good.. a lot of people have gotten sick (stomach, bowels, etc), but i,ve been good! except i caught a cold from Xena. but otherwise things rock. i wish i had more time to tell you all the insanely crazy cool things i´ve been seeing. miss you all! how can i pray? be so blessed!
Janelle
Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing His plan to His servants the prophets. Amos 3:7

Hey! ok, so i tried to blog yesterday and it wasn´t working. so i´ll try again! i only have like 5 minutes on here though (we get 15 mins free internet at the hotel here in Panajachel, but i used 10 of those on msn :)). We arrived in Panajachel at noon today and settled our site into the Grand Hotel. It´s a very touristy place, and since then all i´ve done is grab lunch and wander around, trying to put on my best bargaining face. it´s crazy, the people will follow you RIGHT into a restaurant while you are eating lunch and they will NOT leave! it´s crazy! I bought a few things, and will probably grab a couple more tomorrow. they have all the same stuff in Antigua (starting Saturday we´ll be in Jocotenango which is like 20 mins from Antigua) but this is the cheapest place to shop apparently. I sent out a mass email yesterday to a bunch of people, but it only sent it to like 30 addresses, so i´m sure most of you didn´t receive it. pretty much things are going alright. there´s been tons of spiritual attack going on with our group. SO many are ridiculously sick or just feeling homesick and not tops. i´m sure that´s normal for a new place and culture though, but i can tell it´s really wearing on the group.
Habitat for Humanity is awesome! the people are pretty slack down here. breakkie is at 7 am, and so on monday we all are up and at the doors for our meal at 6:57. and we were fed around 7:40. so now i don´t even set my alarm until 2 mins to 7. and on the job site there are times when our albanils (masons) have nothing for us to do, so we just sort of sit there, but then other times when we´re digging trenches for pipes in the blazing sun. it´s HOT in Mazatenango (the place where we´re living and building). it was WAY cooler, almost freezing, at Camp Adulam where we were for teh first couple days. here in Pana it´s in the middle of them two. i like.
we´re building our house for a single father and his 11 year old son. the house walls were already up when we started, so we might finish mid week next week and move on to help another small group.
my spanish is coming along a little bit. i love trying to learn it! some of us went to see a movie last night. i saw National Treasure. it was in English with SPanish subtitles.i thought it´d be the other way around... wierd!ç
hmm.. what else? we leave Pana tomorrow after dinner and head back to the college dorms where we´re staying. along with the cochroches, lizards, toads, spiders, bed bugs, mosquitos, and scorpions. all my dreams of going to university in a foreign land have flown out the window. except maybe for england. school in a castle! anyways, it´s time for me to go. i love you all and miss you tons! i´ll try to get you an addy for where i´ll be living (starting saturday) asap. you guys rock so much. how can i pray? email me or reply to my bloggidy-blog-blog. hasta luega.
Janelle

"That which was from the beginning, which I have heard, which I have seen with my eyes, which I have looked at and my hands have touched--this I proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; I have seen it! And testify to it! And I proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. I proclaim it to you what I have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with me. And our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son, Jesus Christ."
1 John 1:1-3

Therefore...

"Friends! Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Philippians 4:8

And so...

"I take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:5

What have I to say or write? It's been nearly 6 weeks since I've blogged! IS it lack of inspiration? Or IS it really half-hearted motivation? Maybe it's just being bloody distracted. My mind has been sooo everywhere and not God-focussed. Hollow, haggard eyes. Convenient amnesia. Persistently a stubborn apathetic.
WELL NOT ANY FREAKING MORE.
That's it! I've had it. I'm done with sitting on my rat's tail doing diddly. Fill me, Jesus! I'm so empty and shallow and eerie... I miss feeling full of the Spirit. Instead what I have feasted on? Movies, entertainment, gossip, fabricated life. That's what it is! Things seem so surreal and awkward because they're not real! They're not the fulfilling of my deepest, most desperate cries. Only Jesus does... He's like protein! a good, essential filler. mmmm, protein. But yeah, and i've been complaining lots recently too. I'm gonna stop groaning and just bloody LIVE! Ready? Set! Three, two, one... GO!
.......and she's off.......