hello! Yes, i am still alive. alive and well! I've forgotten about being a blogger though, probably due to exams and such. but life is so good.
man, i always have these epiphanys late at night! so (once again) please excuse that which may not be entirely coherent.
lol, as my links aren't working, i cant' comment on the blogs i read just now (Shannon's and Jess L's)... so i'll say it on here, girls!
Shay: i love love love your heart. and the whole sitting IN prayer, not merely throwing up requests is so beautiful, and exactly what i need to be doing as well. may there be so many blessings for you that come with that!
Jess: Yah, i hear yah when it comes to talking about boys and marriage and relationships. dude, it's hard. it's so easy to just sit and talk about boys. which, as you said, is healthy :) but where's the line? i honestly don't know. but these guys are our brothers, precious to us and to the body of Christ. it robs them of true value and honour when we see them only as "potentials" (not that you do this, just rambling :) ) but yah, once again, thanks for your wisdom and i love how you put the Bible right into your blogs! yay!
gosh, Bible this past week and a half has truely been a blessing. except i know i need to throw out an appology to all those in my bible class, especially those who were making presentations when i was being distracted. i've been blown away by people in CHRP recently! i LOVED everyone's project for 2 reason: 1) most of them were truly from the heart and so full of wisdom and truth and, 2) it gave me a chance to see so many of my friends in a vulnerable position and totally do an amazing job at what they did. so thanks all you in Bible! i love you guys!
it's crazy, there were so many topics discussed in Bible... Worship, ghosts, halloween, Gandhi, desensitization, the poor, astrology, love, music, beauty, fashion, ... the list goes on! And i have walked away from the presentations so full of questions and such a desire to seek truth. everyone did an amazing job of looking into the Word for God's answers, but sometimes things just aren't answered. and it totally got me to thinking about WHY i get frustrated sometimes when i don't know answers to things, especially "spiritual" things. like, sometimes I just want Jesus to be black and white, with an opinion on everything, with a "right" path for my life, with absolute truths. And i need to totally repent for that... that's me putting Christ in a box. something i HATE to have happen to me... and something that totally takes away from the mystery, holiness, and wisdom of Yahweh. brutal...
another thing God's shown me about my life is: ME. everything i do is about me. seriously, everything, from giving money to help others to worship to school to relationships. i sacrifice time, money, means, etc, for ME. not intentionally, but the things i do i do in hopes to make me feel better. make me more comfortable. Oh Jesus, throw a different card at me! force me out of my gluttonous, pleasure living life! and gah, see, that's for me too! i need a serious humility lesson. and thankfully, we've got the best Teacher. reminds me of Phil 2...
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be that of Christ Jesus: Who, in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant..." (and on... it's so good, read it! :) )
wow... yes Lord. and so, as mentioned in that passage, i know that I AM important and i am the temple of the living, mighty God, and so how i care for my self and think of myself is crucial, but at the same time, there's that whole "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me" verse as well. DENY myself. what is that really? whatever it is, i know i want to do it. every single day! every moment. i GOTTA walk the talk. man, totally! where is the love? mine is very teeny tiny and pretty conditional. and i think so much of being a follower of Christ is suffering for him, but i'm waaaaaay to comfy cozy to experience any of that. sweet pickles, i need Him bad!
"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who, WHO can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).
Janellio-yo-ho-wiggedy-whack-smack-pitter-pat-gotta-go

Hey all! Here are some poems that i've written recently... :)

Revealed Identity
Will you dance with me?
Tap out this fearful melody
Across the floor of all my dreams
Can you dance with me?

Will you walk with me?
Hand in hand beside the sea
Painting out sweet nature’s themes
Can you walk with me?

Will you laugh with me?
Dispel the darkest insanity
Chuckle at mischievous schemes
Can you laugh with me?

Will you sing with me?
Whistle soft the harmony
Musical scales, crescendoed moonbeams
Can you sing with me?

And will you speak to me?
Whisper dear truths of eternity
Endless phrase and sentence streams
Please, come speak, to me

Freedom’s Songbird

I carry a finch in my pocket
A fragile little thing
She’s not much bigger than a mite
Yet everything makes her sing

Sometimes she chirps so loud
And beats her feisty wings
I think she wants out of my pocket
Her pecking is starting to sting

Up, aloof, beyond the sun
She soars so high and perches proud
Inspired, accepted, life is good
The faintest dreams are sung aloud

Far beneath the airborne finch
Desperate cries are heard
She circles slowly, listen now
She hears the cry, but what’s the word?

Trapped, imprisoned are the sparrows
Legs in nets and wings near broken
Bloody beaks sing not of joy
Only sheer pain is spoken

My finch, she pauses for a moment
Up here the sky is so blue
How could she leave it for that mess?
But what else can she do?

She touches down, alert and ready
Wasteland as far as she can see
Down here things sure aren’t pretty
But it’s where she needs to be


A Girl’s Best Friend

Cut an diamond
From a rock
How sheer and crisp
It rests
Each edge perfected
Vastly stunning
Is it brilliance
Majestically asserted, see
It shimmers upon
Velvet bed
But drop that diamond
In the ocean
Let it become dimmed
Pounding waves of
Crushing force
Smooth every corner
Down
Pounded against
Rock and shore
This little jewel
Groans
Sand in its cracks
Oily seaweed
Steals its gleam
Berated and numbed of
Excellence
For when you toss
Gems to the sea
Their preciousness
Is lost
And any opal
Pearl
Or ruby
Looks like
Any other rock

Nature’s Symphony

Take me up to the mountain
To the floods of flowing fountains

Let it rain

Under the fir find shelter
Leaves run helter skelter

Let it snow

Trim the peaks with smothered silence
Attack the valley with ashen vengeance

Let it sun

Victorious, rise up in conquest
Pursued, tumble into the west

Let it storm

Flatted ferns with exhalation
Forked shocks and thundering perspiration

Let it hail

Sleeted sheets not rain nor snow
Frozen orbs, look out below!

Be still

To hold the heavens of passionate weather
To quiet the bird of quivering feather
I do not hold within my grasp
The keys to such forbidden task

What would happen if all of a sudden, I started typing in a different language. I mean, THINK ABOUT IT. And what if i seriously had no idea I was typing in a foreign language. that would be hilarious! And then I'd just be sitting fedadf que gloik vreti pobbu io hagen daz tres isine guilot dunca aluh guten vas gratzi notre por cabayano! haben cette facon el chico?
Isn't it crazy how sometimes God chooses the most random things to teach us lessons? I mean, I'm reading a book right now called The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, and it's such a girl book and I think it's so funny, but there's this little kid in it (ok, she's like 12) and she's really sick and someone asks her what she's afraid of. And her answer totally struck home with what I'M afraid of! It was crazy, and she just worded it so well. And for a 12 year old she was pretty insightful (ok, ok, it's a book, but still :). She said she was afraid of TIME. Afraid that she wouldn't have enough time to do all that she wanted. or that she wouldn't use the time she'd been given to do what really counts in this world.
Holy hot bananas. That's ME!
When I think of this right now, I just get this picture of Christmas time all again. I had asked a few weeks ago that the Lord would totally reveal His gift to me this Christmas. So when I see Christmas right now, this time it's just me and Jesus in the room with the warm fire and comfy couches... and he hands me this gift and I totally tear off the wrapper and look down at a clock. Pretty much just an ordinary, non digital clock, which ticks softly, but confidentally loud enough. I don't say anything because I'm a little confused. I guess I was expecting a box of wisdom, or a gift bag full of joy, or a stocking of faith, or a huge wrapped tweezer to help me remove my thorn... but a... clock?
So i'm looking at it, nodding slightly, thinking "maybe it's got a psycho annoying alarm to make sure I wake up early enough to do devos..." Jesus can see me analyzing the meaning behind the clock and he laughs and takes it from my hands.
"It's TIME, Janelle. It's seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks..."
"Ohh... wow..." I feel pretty stupid
"And I haven't given Time to you to make you feel guilty or stressed. it's not here to nag you to pray or to read your Bible or even to go and minister to others. But I hope you do those things anyway. This clock is to remind you of how short life is... many things you'll only have one opportunity to do. And in giving you this clock, this time, i'm really giving you the chance to have a full, abundant life. so go and live it!"
pickles, what a rush! After seeing this it's like why the fruit am i still at a computer??? Where are the homeless? Where are the hurting? the broken! the lost! or even, where's my bible!? And my guitar... I should call people over to pray! But no joke, like time IS ticking away and we need to take hold (whoa, deja vu of Darren Jones conference :) ) of livin' life full out and dispel all apathy and complacency and laziness. Proverbs talks SO much of people who are procrastinators and lazy and do-nothing-ers... and it's not cool stuff. I need to get moving! Who knows when that clock will pause, shudder, and die out? Who knows how long you or I will be here for? no one but Jesus! But whether I'm here for another 7 seconds or another 700 years, may every single second represent an undivided focus... complete devotion to Jesus and His people. Wow. that's huge. yes Lord! May His wisdom fill you with awe and may we all fall ,once again, in love with Jesus Christ. amen :)