The Wall

Outwardly calm here on the floor
My charging heart begins to drum
I hear you breathing by the door
As expected, you have come

I slip my magazine aside
While you fumble with the lock
Like a mouse I cannot hide
And you the snake begin to stalk

Your grip is firm and rough and cold
But warmth settles like a dust
In my core as I do as I'm told
To satisfy your raging lust

For as I caused your thirst
So I quench you until
Your dry tongue starts to burst
As it tastes its fill

Over my chest you run your hand
Disguising a caress
With a touch I can neither stand
Nor hasten to repress

For a blink I think
You are attracted
To my hips
But I am distracted
By the whispers from your lips

Away my thoughts drift into the hall
I see you, and me, and my face is on the wall

I see the blanket's patterns; red
And white intertwine around
I lose myself in each thread
As I count the stitches bound
Together forming paths of pink
That run from end to end
Nothingness that lets me think
This moment here is all pretend

I see you push your body off my own
From the wall I want to scream
At your voice that drips a honeyed tone
To awake me from my detached dream
Your words contain both fear and threat
I "cannot tell", you say I'm "fine"
You know our secret will not get
Divulged, for shame, in truth, is mine

In my soul I know it's true
That I could never think to tell
Of what goes on with me and you
And how my life is living hell

My ugly frame I twist and clutch
And shudder your thick scent away
Tomorrow again I'll know your touch
But for now I slip into the gray

As you leave this darkened room
I feel a tear begin to fall
One half stifled in my tomb
One half raining down the wall