Am I One Alive?

I am not yet formed; I remain a shadow
The waters slap at my skin
They roll and lap and swirl within me too
My lungs breathe these inky pools
Before I am
But am I
one: alive? Or yet to be
Silenced either way
I drink you in with every breath
And you need only close your eyes to have me
disappear
But I cannot escape you
Unless it is in forceful extraction
Or pains that push me down
Either way I am subjected
To your wants, your needs, your pleads
These deeds you do
That do me in
or in me do a death
Either way I am subjected to acceptance
or rejection
If I could choose
I’d drown in these prison waters
To keep the pain
from you