Hey all. so this is what happens when i haven't blogged in a while. i do one and then 2 hours later i'm all like "ooh, i have more to add!" and do another one. so bear with me :)
So we took these personality tests last year and this past year in school and in gr. 11 i was all like "they can't put me in a box!" and "this won't tell me who i am!" and all that jazz. and then i ate my words as the results pretty much summed me up! it was hilarious. but not that a personality test can tell you who you are because it CAN'T, but the point is I went back and read the long blurb again a couple weeks back and i was like, "shoot, i AM like that, aren't i?". and one of the things that God's been teaching me is that I have put too much faith in people. now don't get me wrong, I love people and i think we were meant to live in community and bless each other and work with each other and hold each other accountable. but i think i've been in the wrong by holding people up to standards that no one can meet except Jesus and then being bloody let down because of it. I know in my life that i've let down every person I know and that every person I know has let me down. and that's how it's gonna be, unfortunately. but yah, Jesus has just accentuated the reason as to why HE needs to be the one to fulfill me and not merely my friends because although they are wonderful, they won't ever know me completely or be able to speak to me exactly as i need it or fill that void. and i think i've also thought that my husband will do that too. that He'll be like Jesus to me. that He'll fulfill all my deepest longings and desires and dreams and He'll say the right things and do the right things and just make me complete. wrong! ouch. poor guy. I long for people to ask questions of me, I long to be known and loved and to know and to love, but i need to see people as they are: sinful and struggling. just as i am. just as we all are. there's a chasm in me that i've tried to fill with so much that isn't Christ and recently it's been friends. and know what i've discovered? i have some pretty kick-booty friends! i honestly am SO blessed and encouraged by so so so many people! but i need to stop asking them to complete me. it's certainly not fair to them (eep, sorry guys!) and it's not their place to fulfill me. So a hearty YEE-HAW out there to all you guys who have been so amazing and patient and loving with me, and know that I deeply love and appreciate you all so very much; and to You, Lord... again, I'm sorry. may I never let another take Your place in me again.
you guys all are my superheroes... but Jesus is the most super :)