I feel like I have no words to express what my heart is bursting with right now... but I'll try.

I have never in my life faced such a long time of question and confusion, where I resented all that I said I believed and fell into a place of wanting to be free from this Christ. I wanted out. I felt lied to and deceived by the thing I had clung to the most in my life. I was so hurt and frightened. And was clearly being sucked in by lies and facing Satan's oppression.

I can't say that I've achieved enlightenment now (or whatever it may be), but I have been chased and caught, and it feels so great! Guilt is EVIL. Shame is NOT from God! It never will be! We are so afraid of turning back to Him because the devil has whispered to us that the Lord is angry, or worse, disappointed in us. That He is pulling the plug on our blessings because we failed. That He is revoking the gifts He gave us. That He will punish us. Or that He will remove His presence from us. NO NO NO, this is WRONG! HE ADORES YOU! and ME! He looks at us in our most F-ed up situations and picks us up oh so gently in those moments. He. wants. to. free. us. Satan wants to destroy us! If we opened our tear-swollen eyes and looked up we would see that God is standing over us, fighting for us, breaking the arrows of the enemy in mid-flight. He. is. fighting. for. us. period.

Go. Go to Him and worship, no matter what state you are in. Proclaim His goodness. No "buts!" Stand up and tear off the layers of guilt, shame, lies, deceit, fear, anxiety... tear them off like clothes. Stand naked before Jesus and watch as He walks to you with a gorgeous purple robe to re-dress you in. Stand and be healed, for He already looks at you as clean and pure. Accept it! Why would you want to continue to stand in the hopelessness of life? Please, go and be free. Go and be healed and know that you are so dearly dearly loved.