Here I lie
Naked before Your eyes
No robe
No rags
No peace

Nothing to hide
I stand before You tall
Nothing to give
I pull my pockets out in shame

I am not hot
And I am not cold
Awed by Your mystery
Yet deafened to Your call
Bone-weary and dry
Yet nearly satisfied
With the world in one hand
Stroking the cross with the other

My soul is chiming dissonance
No sweet harmonies
How do I completely surrender
When I'm not sure I want to be free?

and then i read colossians 1:1-14
I want to be holy, faithful. Loving my brothers and sisters. Faith springing up from hope.
What is in store for me in Heaven? What have I already heard about the word of truth? Has the Gospel come to me? Yet globally this Gospel bears fruit! Oh, how it grows, too! Does it grow among us, my friends? Do we understand God's grace in all its truth? Let us love in the Spirit, and never stop praying. Pray to be filled with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding, that we'd live a life worthy of the Lord--I want to be worthy of Him!--and may please Him in every way (such as bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God adn being strengthened so we can endure trials with patience, joy and thanksgiving. He's qualified me to share in the inheritance of His Kingdom.
wait, let's repeat that: He's qualified me to share in the inheritance of His Kingdom
hello? wake up, Janelle! why does this not consume my being? why is it not the most amazing thing I've heard all day? man, i have passion, but i think it's being outletted in the wrong ways...
What is this "heir-hood" all about? Freedom from death's dark dominion! Wait, am I free? what IS free? can anyone really be truly free?
And passage into His Kingdom! (but again, what IS this Kingdom? is it here, among us? is it yet to come and already been?) Redemption. Forgiveness. Man, I want to be one of our King's most faithful and obedient knights (err... or lady, i guess :) ) Who IS this King of glory?