So I've been praying for a couple weeks that God would challenge me at school. The speakers have rocked, but so much of what they've said I've previously wrestled with or have heard before. and our group is SO QUIET when it comes to classroom studies, so we never have discussions, ever.

So i had an inspiration: Maybe God IS challenging me, just not in the ways I expected. There's a time when we can only take in so much intellectual facts and spiritual insights, and then it becomes time to LIVE what we've sponged up.

And that time is now. Gah, i can't believe how long it takes me to figure these things out sometimes. for the love...

But anyway, now that the Lord's said this to me, I can look at this week and see that He's TOTALLY doing just that--challenging me to lead worship by myself (which i'm doing tomorrow and am totally nervous), challenging me to pray for and with people, to improve my piano skills, to exercise my spiritual giftings, to go and do stuff with the people i don't usually hang with, and to really live interdependently in this community. He's challenging me to take His words and then bloody go and DO THEM.
[*sorry, Dad, but there's a time and place for a little stronger language :) ]

It's ridiculously obvious after examining what i just said that i've been satisfied with the fact that "growing in my faith" has been little more than gaining more biblical knowledge, scientific evidence of Jesus's lifre, and cute one-liners that deserve to be printed on bumper stickers. Boo!

So the huge Q for me has been: do I really KNOW God? Or do I just know the Bible stories and the answers to questions?

The first and greatest command is what? To love the Lord your God with all your HEART, and with all you SOUL and with all your MIND. How can i Love GOd with all my emotions? That's the easy one for me... I'm emotional, I believe God is emotional, so it's easy for me to joyfully, anguishly, passionately, and intensely live out my love for God. but how do I go about loving Him with my intellect and knowledge and wisdom? And then my soul: my personality, my character, the essence of my being? Does ALL that's within me praise the Lord? All aspects of who I am, whether logical or physical or emotional or rational or whatever?

There's alot that's been going on that's taught me the importance of really NEEDING others in community and to live for them. It's no longer about me! My friend, Megan, politely warned me this morning that my roomie in "Real University" as she put it will NOT put up with my alarm clock going off as much as mine does before i actually wake up and turn the snooze button right to "Off". Ok, sure, my alarm does go off every 4 minutes (which is more than any other i've owned),... so i'll work on that one :)
But seriously, it's no longer about me. It's biblical to be dependent on one another! Not post-modern, that's for sure, but it's Jesus. I gotta go to small group. love you all so much!
Isaiah 66:2
Good music: Pedro the Lion, "Beautiful" CD by Brian Doerksen.